16/05/2026
🤣🙌🏻
Hundreds of booth girls were safely released back into the wild this weekend after Music On Amsterdam was cancelled just hours before opening.
The sudden cancellation left a delicate ecosystem of women scheduled to stand behind Marco Carola without access to their natural habitat.
“It was chaos,” said one witness. “One minute they were polishing their sunglasses, feeding each other bumps from their fingernails, and limbering up, preparing to aimlessly sway for 14 hours while screaming in each others ears and pretending to laugh…”
“…the next they were being lured onto trucks by tour managers waving little pink plastic baggies on the end of fishing rods.”
Amsterdam authorities confirmed the women were tagged, checked for dehydration, and released in small groups near areas with adequate 5-star hotel bars, afterparties, mirrors and men named Fabrizio.
Conservationists say the cancellation may disrupt the wider Ibiza-to-Amsterdam booth girl migration pattern, which normally sees hundreds of decorative VIPs travel across Europe to stand beside DJs while pretending to recognise the track.
“We’re asking the public not to approach them,” said one nightlife expert. “They may appear friendly, but if startled they can become disoriented and demand to be brought to their table.”
As of this morning, several displaced booth girls had reportedly adapted well to their new surroundings and were seen through an Amsterdam apartment block window, dancing around an ironing board while a balding Italian man called Lorenzo hacked at a small Pioneer controller rigged up to the television, suggesting nature may already be healing itself.
