08/13/2026
I don't usually share much but my heart has been very heavy
There are certain songs that find you exactly when you need them.
For me lately, that has been NF. His music has been a source of encouragement and hope, and somehow he has a way of putting words to the battles we face every day—the ones people see and, more often, the ones they don't.
I am not the same person I was before John passed.
I have always tried to check in on the people around me and ask, "How are you doing?" But after losing John to su***de, that question means so much more to me now. I don't ask it just to make conversation. I ask because I genuinely want to know.
I know what it feels like to wonder what someone is carrying behind the smile, behind the jokes, behind the "I'm fine." I don't ever want to assume that someone is okay just because they look okay.
Losing someone I cared about to su***de left a weight on me that I am still learning to carry. Some days are harder than others. Some days I feel like I'm doing okay, and other days it all catches up with me again.
My team, my friends, and the people who have continued to stand beside me have helped me through this chapter more than they probably realize. They've listened, checked in, given me space when I needed it, and reminded me that I don't have to carry everything alone.
This has been hard. It's been painful. It's been messy. And honestly, it's been one of the biggest learning experiences of my life.
But somewhere in all of that, I've also found growth.
From my pain, I rise to help others.
That doesn't mean the pain isn't still there. It means I refuse to let the pain be the end of the story.
I've learned that checking on someone matters. That listening matters. That showing up matters. And sometimes, simply telling someone "I'm here" can mean more than you will ever know.
So when I ask you how you're doing, please know I mean it.
Check on your people.
Ask the question.
And when someone asks you how you're doing, maybe don't just say "I'm fine."
Be honest. Be vulnerable. Let someone in.
You never really know what someone is fighting behind the scenes.
I still miss John. I still have days where it hurts deeply. But if I can take even a piece of that pain and turn it into something that helps another person keep going, then I will.
My pain may be part of my story, but it will not be the end of it.
From my pain, I rise to help others. ❤️
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please, please reach out. You do not have to face that moment alone.
In the U.S., you can call or text 988 to connect with the Su***de & Crisis Lifeline and talk with someone who is there to listen.
And if you're part of The Realms Of Asgard Inc (TROA) community, we have peer support and resources available too. You don't have to have the right words. You don't have to explain everything. Just reach out.
Asking for help isn't weakness. Sometimes, asking for help is the strongest thing you can do.
Please check on your people. And please let someone check on you. ❤️
Official music video for “FEAR” by NF from the FEAR EP out nowStre...