05/15/2026
Because we try to stay transparent with all of our families and supporters.
Maybe one person can relate and find the strength to find the beauty. 🤍
There’s a strange kind of heartbreak in sitting in a gynecologic oncology waiting room surrounded by beginnings while quietly fearing the answers.
Across the lobby, young women cradle their swollen bellies, looking beautiful with that pregnant glow. Their joy fills the room so naturally, so beautifully. New life. Hope. Celebration.
I sit, with tears in my eyes as Josh tells me that he’s scared too, but we will get through all of it. I try to breathe normally while my mind races through every terrifying possibility, all while staying positive. Smiling politely when someone catches my eye, while silently wondering what my own body is doing to me.
The irony is impossible to ignore: one side of the room waiting to hear a heartbeat, the other waiting to hear how we are going to tackle something dangerous growing inside of me. Yet somehow, even through the fear, their happiness still feels sacred. It reminds me that bodies are capable of miraculous things — creating life, carrying pain, surviving uncertainty.
So I sit there holding both truths at once: their joy and my fear. And somehow, both belong in the same room.
