04/15/2015
At various stages of our lives, we have all have experienced misfortunes and what we perceive are injustices in our lives. I am not alone when I say I have felt betrayed or desperate when I faced a major change in my life. Whether that change was in losing a job, or a loved one, or when thought I had my heart broken, or when I was ill, or when I got married and moved away from country of birth. We all have felt lost, indignant or hurt. Whatever the feeling, it happens to everyone when they have a changing point in our lives and where we have had to experience ending one chapter and starting a fresh page, a new book or one’s entire life.
The old saying that when one door closes another one opens is often heard but not often do we really believe in it. It is my experience however that we should really say “that when one door closes a better one opens”. This has been true to me in love, in my move to foreign lands, and in work.
I moved to America 20 years ago, and had to make new friends. Create a new home and new customs. This was to be during one of the biggest challenges of my life. Leaving family and friends behind while I was waiting for a critical transplant to save my life. Yet that was when I first came to America, and then had just had the transplant when I was married and moved to America full time. This has turned out to be the happiest and most memorable years of my life. I may have been turning 40 when I got married, but I sure have lived the best years of my life since the move.
In 2004, I lost my job after seven and half years of what I thought was dedicated and hard work with a local company. This was exactly one of these moments of a door closing and me feeling lost. In hindsight, when I look back, I can earnestly say it was also one of the best times of my life as I had gotten to the stage at work where I was not happy. That I did not feel respected by my manager, and I did not feel that the team I was assigned to, was doing their share of work, nor did I feel that I even wanted to work with my team members anymore. Many an evening I would go home and feel desperate and not want to go to work the following day. But I did nothing about it. Then one day the company made a corporate decision to close down the federal side of the house and this meant that everyone on the federal team would be laid off. I was offered a position within the company that I did not want. All of a sudden I was forced to make the decision that I had dreamed about on every bad day. In hindsight I can now say, the writing was on the wall. All the old executive team had been laid off in the months leading up to this point. In my heart I knew it was time to move along. However when the time came, all of a sudden I still felt a sense of shock and total betrayal. I took the lay-off, even though at the time I felt discouraged and betrayed by someone I trusted to look after my interests at the firm. Now that same person was telling me that I could take a layoff with everyone else or accept a position that I did not feel was a parallel move but a step backwards in my career.
In my heart I still knew it was time to step out of my comfort zone and look for something else, as I was not happy. So I took the layoff.
It did not take long before I was made an offer for more money with a company that was local, and then what happened next opened my “better door” and was to my benefit for the years to follow. One of my clients offered me a contract provided I could set up my own business as soon as possible. I decided to go out on a limb and finished all the paper work I needed to complete in a day and worked into the night. Before I knew it, I had set my own company up, had signed a contract with my client and begun to work on my client’s new contract!
The next eleven years flew by and today, I have 15 employees working for me, and a wonderful little business, that I have been dedicated to for the past years. I have had the most amazing employees who have worked hard and made our company respected by our clients. The business affords me the opportunity to work from home. To live a good life and to travel overseas on vacations and discover wonderful new places I never dreamed of going to before.
It is for this reason I express gratitude in the face of my loss, and I try and spread the word, that when things end, it may not always be the timing we had planned for. However, on the horizon could be the opportunity we may have just dragged our feet to go after, and it may also be the opportunity to reinvent ourselves.
Those closed doors for each of us are the opportunities to move forward in our lives. The doors are the way of telling us to move on from a situation. To take a leap of faith and enter into something unknown through the new door. To see what awaits us beyond the doors. To create something different. To be able to stretch ourselves and see what we can achieve and what we can overcome. If something is not quite right, we don’t have to wait for the door to be closed on us, but we need to be brave and reach for the open door. There may be a brief time in between the doors when you are meant to reflect or learn from the past experience before you can be ready to step into the opening of a new one. This is a time to find peace within yourself and to prepare yourself for what to expect. It is a time to recall the bad, put it in the past and know what you will not want to experience again. We should never regret that it's over, or spend time on being sad or think of what we did in the past or what we should have done, but rather smile because it happened, for in every experience there is a lesson to be learned. When one door closes another opens but we often look so long and regretfully ponder upon the closed door that we do not see the pot of gold standing behind the new door egging us forward. So step up and enter the new door and grab every opportunity, and live every moment with open arms.
This month, we are celebrating 11 years of being in business. Each year has been a blessing.