01/07/2024
Always happy to support the hard working team at women’s refuge.
Whanganui Women’s Refuge – grateful for all the community support
It is Women’s Refuge Awareness Month and Jo Voice, Manager of the Whanganui Women’s Refuge, says, “We have so much to be grateful for. It means a lot when we experience the support of the community, whether it is through donations or just sending a message. We are just one small part of a wider community response to family violence.”
This support is also shown in different ways. Here are a few examples that Jo provides.
• We have a great relationship with the local Mainfreight service. They help us to shift furniture to safe homes.
• Nathaniel from Asset Communications, who supports our communication systems in the office and safe house.
• The Warehouse is always responsive to our needs.
• Farmers will donate clothing.
• ‘Alarm Watch’, which has helped win us a security upgrade for our office and safe house.
• There is a lovely lady, Laszel, who makes birthday cakes for children who we are working with.
• The lovely ladies who do knitting for our clients and their families.
• A big shout out to the Police Family Harm unit. We talk with them almost every day.
And “it is great to be part of a fantastic network of agencies and services helping out in the community. As a team, we talk a lot about all the things we are grateful about.”
While the Refuge really appreciates all the fundraisers on its behalf and all the donations, “we also really value the relationships and connections we develop in the process. The public can be confident that we are there making a difference.
Typically, what happens when a woman comes to the Refuge Centre?
Jo explains, “When a woman arrives at our front door unannounced, we will ask how can we help. Sometimes they don’t actually know, but generally they are scared, and some will want to talk out of sight.
“They might have been followed or have had to tell a cover story to leave without being noticed, or it can just be a spur-of-the-moment decision.
“We will allow them to tell us their story, what they need, and that can be difficult to articulate, and we can suggest different options, while being guided by what they want.
“We try to assess their risk and help them to understand what might happen. Sometimes there can be different perceptions of risk. Either way, we can provide them with safety plans, options and the support we can offer – and then it is up to them.
“It might just be a first step to talk and get advice and resume their lives. They have their own reasons, which we will respect. The timing might not be right for them.”
The cost and courage needed
Jo spoke about how big a decision to leave a violent partner can be. “It can be cutting the ‘ties that bind,’ and that can include breaking ties with an extended family, even your own family, who, for different reasons, might not be supportive. There is so much unknown and a lot is at stake.”
It can include the financial cost, especially if the partner controls the finances, or the person’s cultural and/or faith community, the impact on the kids and even on pets, and for many, it could be the ‘shame’ of separation or divorce or just having other people aware of the realities of your relationship.
As for Jo and the staff at Women’s Refuge, they can experience the despair, but also the highs – the wins when women and their children feel free – “and the highs are really high.”
Jo adds, “We love how generous our community is, and that is so encouraging.”
The poster issued by head office sums up the awareness month – it reads ‘Give what you can and we’ll give her everything.”
