29/01/2023
I'd be lying if I say that it didn't hurt when you left me. It did, but later I got to know that it was for my own good. I don't deserve someone who fails to treat me with respect, and if I had to ask for it, then the love wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth seeing myself in the mirror and crying every time.
I had self-doubts about myself, and you didn't solve them. What you did was not being enough for me. You were not around when I was breaking down emotionally and mentally. I had to take my own hand to get up. And now when I've gotten up, I realise why I gave my everything to you but still couldn't get what I wanted in love.
I didn't want my love to become something extraordinary; instead, I wanted it to become simple but more communicative. I wanted to have an ear to listen to all my low-time stories, even if you couldn't give me the courage to face them.
And when you left, I thought I did not have enough courage to face that as well; I thought that it would kill me. But it didn't; instead, it gave me the courage to face the reality I had been avoiding for so long.
And now when I'm back on my feet and looking in the mirror, I know that I'm all I have. No one is coming to save me, and I can not wish for someone to come and listen to all of my heartless ramblings.
I have to spend my nights without crying, and if I do, I have to wipe my own tears. That's why I was given two hands, one to wipe my tears and one to gently tap on my shoulder, saying, "That's just life; it has to be like this, leaving someone and meeting new ones. And look after yourself even if you have plenty of people."
- Sohrab Amaan
Photo by Marián Sicko
Edited by me
