Naija Hall of Jokes and Hookups

Naija Hall of Jokes and Hookups Where trends start and stories break first — Deyemi Lagos ⚡📸

05/03/2017

Every girl wants to be engaged by a serious man,and wish to get married but wat kind of man will want to engage a babe with status' like - "liquids,sound bar loading", GQ loading"Elegushi loading", "bovina on point“,
"wine bar Abuja toh badt“, "6 bottles I gallant",
"clubbing mode activated", Champaign rain”, "missing my bed tonite", "u knw urself #"
off to crystal lounge ", "Am gonna party real hard 2nite" "Owerri, Benin, lagos, port Harcourt , Abuja, Asaba, Bayelsa on my mind =-?", " painting accra blue and red ","Dubai and malaysia things", u wear crop top and boomshot almost naked, long nails and paintings u u use dp's u took in different hotel bedrooms and bathrooms, Alhaji, thank you. Baby thank you (As ur bf no get name.) Senator, God bless you. Hon.. You are too much. Take pix in different cars, Are you a driver? . Ipad, Iphone 7 as DP and your bf dey use Samsung s5. Brazilian hair. Romanian hair. Peruvian hair etc. who is fooling who?.....or u think those serious guys ain't seeing? my dear they are..... everything... Jux b ur self ... U don't need to inconvenient ur self cos u wanna b a biz gal..
using ur last cash to by designers and suffer later wiv zero account.. My dear rock anyfin u av ur man will appreciate u...( real man to b precised )
u better have a rethink, Maybe wen u are 33 years, u'll change ur status to" mosque on my mind", "I love Allah", "Allah saves" " happy musleemah" "Saturday vibe" 35 years you start.... all men are evil"
@38 you no go miss any mosque service or crusade by then your age no dey for calendar , u don expire comot for market.
Awon slay Mama gbogbo Facebook slayer. U will soon see urself
issokai omale jatijati sho lo stupid ni✔

18/02/2017

​Beautiful Message​!!

💬 If You Are Right Then There is No Need to Get Angry ...

💬 And If You Are Wrong Then You Don't Have Any Right to Get Angry.

💬 Patience With Family is Love .....

💬 Patience With Others is Respect.

💬 Patience With Self is Confidence And Patience With GOD is Faith.

💬 Never Think Hard About The PAST , It Brings Tears...

💬 Don't Think More About The FUTURE , It Brings Fear...

💬 Live This Moment With A Smile , It Brings Cheer.

💬 Every Test in Our Life Makes Us Bitter Or Better .....

💬 Every Problem Comes To Make Us Or Break Us !

💬 The Choice is Ours Whether We Become Victims Or Victorious.

💬 Beautiful Things Are Not Always Good But Good Things Are Always Beautiful ......

💬 Do You Know Why God Created Gaps between Fingers ? So That Someone , Who is Special To You , Comes And Fills Those Gaps , By Holding Your Hand Forever.

💬 " Happiness " Keeps You .... Sweet But Being Sweet Brings Happiness

18/02/2017

Nigeria is now officially a Movie full of Actors.
Acting President
Acting Chief Justice of Nigeria
Acting EFCC Chairman
Me too Acting Nigeria Citizen.
I can't wait for the complete movie.
But to think of it. Hope you are not an Acting Christian sha?
# IamAtakas

18/02/2017

Because Buhari is not in the country people think they can
behave anyhow, how can someone just borrow my pen in
the bank since yesterday and just disappear,the most
annoying part is am still waiting for him
Abi make I dey go home?

11/02/2017

YORUBA BOYS
Tm shirt - 15k
Jean - 10k
Shoe - 30k
Gold chain - 500k
Car - 4m
Account Balance - 2k
IGBO BOYS
-
Shirt - N800
Jean - N1200
Shoe - N800
Account Balance - 50m

How true?

31/12/2016

God is determined to help you. So any opposition arranged against u in 2017 will face the wrath of the living God. He will abide with u. He will fellowship with u. His protection will be sure over u and your family. By the grace of God and the unction of the Holy Spirit u are danger zone to d devices and imagination of darkness. Your dreams and destiny will not be truncated. All your needs are supplied, and your fear is gone. Henceforth u walk in majesty, grace, favour, abundance, uninterrupted blessing, and good success in JESUS name (amen) happy new year in advance

* ADEYEMI TEMITOPE GREATNESS p.k.a Atakas*

01/11/2016

INTRIGUING AFRICAN PROVERBS.
1. The anger of a p***s doesn't destroy the va**na.
(Zimbabwe)
2. There's no virgin in a maternity ward. (Cameroon)
3. A child can play with it's mother's breasts but not with
the father's testicles. (Ghana)
4. The man who marries a beautiful woman and the farmer
who grows corn by the road side have the same problem.
(Ghana)
5. When you see a woman sitting with her legs open, never
tell her to close them, because u do not know her source of
fresh air. (Ethiopia)
6. He who says that nothing lasts forever has never tried
Hausa perfume. (Nigeria)
7. The only woman who knows where her man is every
night is a widow. (Togo)
8. An erected p***s has no conscience. (Uganda)
9. If u go to sleep with an itching a**s, u are sure to wake
up with smelly fingers. (Kenya)
10. The day a mosquito lands on your testicles is the day
you will know there is a better way of resolving issues without
using violence. (Senegal

30/10/2016

After Secondary School.. .
Some of our classmates have gone out of the country, some are now graduates, some have married, some have given birth.. . some are dead don't forget that too,some haven't even gained admission into the tertiary institution,
but you know that feeling when you meet your classmate, and it seems like he/she has reached his dreams and you're not yet close yours? Yea, somehow feels like jealousy, its a normal feeling.
But, You must not regret your life. We all are different and our path to greatness is not same in distance.
Some might reach before you, some might reach after you but wherever level you are presently, please keep trying to break limitations and move further.
Celebrate the success of others, its an application for yours.. Your friend buys a car now, be happy with him/her.. Remember when you get yours, theirs wouldn't be the latest again.
Life is not by competition, if not we all Will be born into one type of family, one religion and same everything.
The passion in you, never quench. the desire in you, keep it burning. what you pass through, write it down because one day the world would be ready to read it.
There's no height you cannot attain, just believe. Define goals and recognize distractions. spend time teaching yourself, because the things that mainly take people to the top,is the things they devoted time to develop.
Don't be intimidated by your fellow's success, the sky is too wide that the birds can fly without touching themselves.
I will meet you on top.. .!!!

27/10/2016

ADD YOUR OWN BREAKING NEWS:
1. Okada killed two people inside trailler...
2. Christiano Ronaldo impreginate Funke
Akindele...
3. Lil Wayne features Pasuma in his new
single...
4, Eyinmba will sign Messi dis January...
5. Baba suwe joined Illuminati, signed in
by Jay z...
6. Beyonce is in love with Terry G...
7. Primary school pupils don dey graduate
at class primary 2....
8. University and Poly students are now
putting on school uniforms...
9. Obama claims EDO STATE as his home
town...
10. New Arsenal manager is Chief
Olusegun Obasanjo...
11. Chris Brown wears agbada and
slippers to the grammy awards...
Keep it rolling.. Don't End the Fun,
Add yours.

27/10/2016

EASY WAYS TO BREAKUP WITH ur GF/BF.
1. 16 Missed Calls? You Killed My Battery So You're Capable Of Killing Me... It's Over!!!
2. How come mosquito is biting me and not biting u. i smell conspiracy. ITS OVER!
3. You don't even respect me,I'm talking and you are busy breathing? It's over!
4. So now ur drinking coke dt has another man's name on it, better go and find him cus it's over between us.
5. So Beyonce's "Drunk in love" is Ur caller tune? I can't trust alcoholics with my future kids.
6.They are shouting bird flu, You are still cooking chicken. you want to kill me? It is over!
7. I called you and you picked up immediately. You lack patience.
8. Why are you using Broom to sweep my Room when you know I support PDP? It's over.
9. "You are always abbreviating ur texts, you want our children to be short abi? It's OVER.
10. I told u I love my food hot but u refused to warm the ice cream. U don't care abt me. It's over.
11. You don't pay your tithe, if you can cheat on God, then who am i?

23/10/2016

Liberty is not a means to a political end. It is itself the highest political end

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