20/10/2025
Iāve watched the Yul and May Edochie saga closely. Many people trolling May donāt truly understand what peace feels like after pain. They call it pride, but itās healing. They say sheās cold, but thatās peace. Adults raised in polygamous homes may never understand her silence because that silence is pure happiness and freedom.
Some even claim sheās secretly longing for the man, and I canāt help but laugh at that level of social media foolishness. šš
My late maternal aunt was like that, well her story was different, yet similar in wisdom and grace in respect to their different generations. When her husband started misbehaving, keeping a particular girlfriend, she advised him to marry the woman instead of continuing with the hide-and-seek lifestyle. He eventually did. And guess what? She didnāt fight him. She even helped him marry the second wife and treated her with love. My aunt wore her best dress to their traditional marriage!
She always said, āThe Bible says stolen bread is sweet, but when you have the whole loaf to yourself, you get tired of eating. Thatās how it is with side chicks when they become wives, youāll see their real character.ā
The new wife gave her hiusband eight children. My aunt was genuinely happy for them. But when her husband later thought her kindness meant she wanted him back, after the marriage, she chased him away, she distanced herself. āIf youāre tired of that one,ā she told him, āgo and marry another.ā
Though rumor had it that my aunty later reconnected with a man she had loved in her youth the one she was supposed to marry before fate led him elsewhere.
When I got married and visited her, she called me by my native name and gave me counsel that still lives in me today. She said, āServe God and follow the footsteps of Jesus Christ. In fact it's now my prayers should increase, But never be so carried away that you forget yourself. If your husband starts sleeping around and refuses to repent, and it hurts your heart deeply, move away if you can afford it. Then advise him to marry the woman thatās taking him away from you. Encourage them. Donāt fight or force him to stay. Let him see the difference, because stolen bread often tastes sweeterāuntil reality sets in.ā
She went on, āLove dies slowly when disappointment sets in. Thatās why many women age fast, grow weary, and sometimes die with bitterness in their hearts and such people hardly make heaven, because of the bitterness in their hearts. Most of my friends died hating their husbands. Donāt do that. Your happiness should be paramount.ā
Then she added a wisdom Iāll never forget:
āNo matter how much you love a man, give birth only to the number of children you can personally train if things go wrong. And never depend completely on his money, no matter how wealthy he is. A manās money can vanish with the wind.ā
She laughed, saying, āLook at me I had only four children, and today Iām proud I singlehandedly trained them.ā
When I asked her who gave her all that wisdom, she smiled and said, āCome closer.ā Then she whispered, āIt was the man I was supposed to marry but couldnāt, because he got another girl pregnant and his parents forced him to marry her. Iām old now but happy. Iām serving God in peace. My husbandās two wives are still fighting over vanity, land and poisoning their childrenās hearts. Every year, my first son who lives in Washington DC with his wife and three kids, comes home to Nigeria just to settle their disputes. One of the women is now down with stroke. Instead of enjoying life, sheās being carried from one hospital to another.ā
My aunt would laugh and say, āThey thought they were winning. The second wife gave him eight children, six boys and two girls and the third gave him six more. Foolish competition! They wanted to outnumber my four, but now theyāre all on each otherās necks. Thereās no peace in that home.ā
She looked at me gently and said, āThis is my only advice for you. Live with it.ā
And I did.
She died at eighty-seven a fulfilled, peaceful woman. She wasn't sick, a happy woman and jolly good fellow. There is no verse in the Bible you read that she doesn't know.
So, to those mocking May Edochie, understand this: she has chosen peace over pain, self-worth over humiliation. Anyone trolling her is probably the child of a woman who entered a family as a second wife they may never understand the quiet joy of letting go or the peace that comes with monogamy.
Because polygamy breeds competition, envy, hatred, and bitterness.
Sometimes, walking away isnāt defeat.
Itās deliverance. āØ
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