04/08/2022
Umo Eno 2023: The gods Must Be Crazy!
By Jerry Ataha, Jr.
They said he is Godsent! Straight from heaven. To cleanse our land from the poisonous and venomous corruption in government circles. The chosen one. He was tagged the ultimate and biggest provider of Jobs in the state. He is holy. Who ascended straight from heaven. And was bestowed on us a godlike status. Like the high God in Igboland called Chukwu. Whose name may be translated as "the great spirit."
The Igbo religionist sees Chukwu as an all-powerful, all-knowing divinity. The maker of the cosmos. As well as all the minor gods that make up the Igbo pantheon. Chukwu is not believed to have human attributes. But is often referred to as “He.” Chukwu is believed to inhabit the sky. And is often associated with the Sun. Which is believed to be God’s “eye” on the Earth. The central relationship between Chukwu and the Sun is evident in the people’s cosmology and traditional prayers.
This holy god is Pastor Umo Eno. The now controversial Akwa Ibom PDP candidate for the 2023 governorship election. They said he's the messiah. That we need. God chose him by himself. Thus, the people want him. Why? He is best fitted for the job. After the current governor bows out. If not Eno. No other person, can. Out of seven million Akwa Ibomites. Only this great man with business ideas. Can serve the state. He is not coming to steal. He is coming to serve. Such fiction has been told before now. And we are hearing it, again. That only this Chukwu. If you like call him, Ebube. Has the qualities of the gods to salvage Akwa Ibom state. Without Eno, leadership in 2023 will collapse.
But. But. But. A very big but. It turned out that. All the things. What was said about him were abundant and magnificent lies. The spokesperson for those. Who concocted the tales to install this stainless and god-like Pastor. Told the world that Akwa Ibom stakeholders chose Eno. While Udom, the man who made it his exclusive duty. To choose a governor for the state after his exit. Told us that it was he, who chose him. After spiritual revelations from the higher God. Who dwells at the upper echelon. God told him it was Eno or no one else. This god must be crazy. To leave the state with no other option. Then someone, who has lied a thousand times. About his business. His self. His pastoral calling. His age. His name. His certificate. His testimonial. What hasn't he lied about?
He said he is the most successful businessman in Akwa Ibom state. And major employers of labor after the government. But all his businesses before he got into politics, have Failed or were failing. Only two are well-known. Big daddy; closed. He couldn't pay staff. Royalty Hotel; cockroach-infested. Low patronage. He said there are more businesses. That he owns a conglomerate. I almost got lost. On what a conglomerate means. But I know better. He heads a conglomerate of liars. That's why he pays 25million Naira to the entire staffers per month. As wage bill. 25 million Naira? To a conglomerate? Such lies. But let's move on.
Nevertheless, 90 percent of the workers. Under his employ. From the two known businesses - big daddy and Royalty hotel who spoke to this writer. Said Pastor Eno has been robbing Peter to pay Paul. Though without a gun. He robs his workers by deducting tithes from their salaries. To pay himself and his family. He prides himself as a successful pastor. But his Presbyterian had less than 29 members. Before he joined politics.
He said he was well enlightened. He was a head boy in secondary school. But couldn't gain admission to a higher institution. He sat for only four subjects in 1981. And another four in 1983. Both results were terrible. He never passed mathematics in all his life. Seventeen years later, he got admitted to University. His Curriculum Vitae says: He worked as Group General Manager (GGM) at Norman Holdings Limited. How did he do it? Got to such a position without a solid education? Not even maths? The company must have existed on the internet. Oh noooo! There were no online businesses then. But I'm told that it's the era of 419ers. Their reign was supreme. Only such companies would hire a dropout for the position of Group General Manager. Without a sound academic background. We were fooled once. Not anymore.
He aspires to govern a state full of intellectuals. People with sound minds have great accomplishments with forged certificates. A fellow contestant in the PDP, Mr. Akan Okon accused him of several things. Fake age. Forged certificate. Discrepancies in names. What else hasn't he faked? Akan took him to the court and he tendered false information to PDP and INEC. The GCE, he submitted was abracadabra. Forged! His first reaction was a loud cry from the book of lamentation. Chapter 3 verses 3-5. "How can someone (Akan) who sat with me in EXCO chambers accuse me of forgery? Akwa Ibom people help!!!!! Akan is blackmailing me." Oga pastor, stop shouting. And appealing to pity - such fallacy. No one will pity you. The new electoral act says that only a fellow contestant like Akan can urge the court to scrutinize your credentials. Akan is performing a civic duty to the state and Nation. The preferred should go to the court and prove that his certificates were real and never forged, as alleged.
In court, I heard he tendered a "Toronto" "confirmation of results". From WAEC. And later undertook the withdrawal method. The very quick type of withdrawal that only Playboys utilizes. They always withdraw very fast to evade unwanted pregnancies. That is a story for another day. And Eno was quick to replace the so-called " confirmation of results" with a secondary school leaving a testimonial. Wow!!! Testimonial kwa! Is that what our papa in the Lord filed in his nomination form with INEC and PDP? Another fraud on top of a previous fraud. First accusation: he possesses a forged certificate. He was asked to defend himself. Then, he brought out a confirmation of the result. Purportedly printed at Ibom Plaza. Those Plaza boys were good. So good. But fake is fake. The public scrutinized the Plaza result. Too many inconsistencies. His lawyer withdrew it. And replace it with testimonials. Another fake document. This godsent must be good, at forging. A special gift. How long has he kept this special gift from the prying eyes of the Akwa Ibom people and the governor?
What is "our" preferred candidate's real name? Umo Bassey Eno or Bassey Umo Eno? Are they the same person? What is his real date of birth? Some of his documents, carry 1964. Others like his Voters Card (PVC) carry another date of birth. Is it a question of multiple personalities? Only the court will tell. Akan must be very detailed to observe these frauds. He is smart to help the Akwa Ibom people investigate the man to who the state intends to hand over their lives and assets in the next 8 years. We should thank Akan for a job well done. But will Eno and his group of blind supporters see the good in Akan's suit? Never! They are pained and call for his head. But as a democrat, Akan thinks that his actions and their anger, are good for democracy.
Eno though smiles outside. I learned from his close associates that he is deeply pained. And laments in secret. By the way. What did Lamentation Chapter 3 verses 3-5 say: "Indeed, he (Akan) has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long. He has made my skin and my flesh grow old and has broken my bones. He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship."
Why would God's preferred choice for 2023 have these types of baggage? The clergyness and cleverness of Pastor Eno are becoming invalid. The gods must be crazy!
