Embakasi Online Marketing Place

Embakasi Online Marketing Place Online market space within Embakasi
(1)

07/04/2024

PROCEDURE OF PURCHASING LAND IN KENYA

If you are buying land from an individual or group please follow the following STEPS to avoid being CONNED:

1 . Ask to see the TITLE DEED or Copy of the title deed. Then do a search at the ministry of lands to confirm who the real owners are or if the title has any CAVEAT on it, The search will cost you Sh 520.

2.Do a search with LOCAL AUTHORITIES to check of any unpaid land rates. If any, agree with the seller who will settle the land rates. NB :LAND can't be transferred if they are unpaid land rates.

3.Go to the ministry of lands and buy 2 Maps, one showing the exact measurements of the piece you are buying called (mutation) and the other showing the neighbouring lands, Each costs Sh 350.

4.With your 2 maps and a surveyor (you can do it yourself) visit the land you are buying and verify the details on the MAP. Check out all the beacons.

5.Sit down with your seller and bargain the price. Write down an agreement. The agreement can be done in the presence of a lawyer. According to LSK if the value of the land is below 1 million you pay the lawyer 3K, if it's above 1 million you pay the lawyer 8K for the agreement.

6.Pay some amount as per your agreement, Don't pay everything Hata k**a pesa uko nayo.

7.Book a meeting with lands control board (LCB) They meet once every month. It will cost you Sh 1000.
LCB will issue consent for the land to be sold.

8.pay the remaining balance after getting consent from LCB.

9.Go to ministry of lands offices with your KRA PIN, 2 passport photos and a copy of the TITLE DEED to change ownership.
It will cost you Sh 5000.

10.At this stage you don't need the seller. Now go pay stamp duty, ie according to the VALUE of the land.
4% of sales value in municipalities &
2%of sales value in reserves.

11.Now the land belongs to you, but before celebrating go to the ministry of lands &do a search to confirm if they have updated their RECORDS and it reads you.

21/12/2023

TIPS OF HOW TO SURVIVE IN NAIROBI CITY

1. Don't go to downtown if you don't have to.

2. If you move into a new house, use two padlocks no matter how of good quality they are.

3. Ukitembea tao uskie mtu amesema "oya oya" don't turn just move to the side.

4. When boarding a mat, check the condition of your window..that's where your phone might exit from.

5. No one should pray for you on the streets regardless of your situation in life.

6. Chapati will always be 10bob, Smokie 25bob, mayai 20bob.

7. Afya Center..don't even stop to swallow your saliva, pita ukikimbia. Walk mercilessly! And if you have hips,use them to pave way for yourself!. Elbows pia ni weapons... Unapita ukienda bila kuangalia nyuma.If someone hits you as you walk along the streets,hit them back because no one apologizes for such mistakes in this ciry!!

8. If you feel lost just go to Archives, you will pick your bearing from there.

9. Incase someone drops anything Infront of you ,don't pick ,run like your life depends on it. Hata ukiitwa siste siste ,achana nayo.

10. Instead of going to kanjo washrooms, just get into Ushirika house, tell the guards you are going to office 24, it is actually a washroom labeled by mistake or If you are pressed, ingia Hilton, Stanley, Norwich union etc ..confidence is key here..Kuna free parking Serena..play like yourself though..

11. Wakati wa mvua usinyeshewe K**a mimea Hapo kwa corridors, get in Supermarkets watch news from 85" Samsung Screen.Fanya window shopping hata k**a hununui kitu
Confidence ndio muhimu. Be smart nani!!

12. Don't bargain on everything..the trick is, the quality will keep reducing as the price goes down.

13.Avoid eye contact na hawker especially ukiwa traffic jam. Otherwise you've already signed a purchase contract.

14.When tired under scorching sun in town, don't go to Archives or Hilton. Just go to KCB KENCOM, pick a bank ticket and sit there the whole day. You will have a great rest.

15.Whatever you buy, must be packaged in front of you yaani mbele yako or else you'll find yourself with avocado seeds instead of potatoes.
Never buy black shoes at night.

16. In case uone any job openings ziko na phrase ya "send Whatsapp with the word Nairobi to a certain number," jua tu ni wale watu wa global...
Any job utaitishwa doh alafu uambiwe itakuwa refunded, hio ni wash wash..

17. Ukiskia risasi anywhere close to you, don't run..duck into the nearest shop...if you run, watu wa kwenyu wataambiwa uliuliwa na stray bullet...

18. Ukiingia kwa matatu and the window next to you haijifungi ama it's faulty, assume huna simu..the moment you remove it, it's gone... Never walk in a straight line..walk like 2 mins on the pavement then change direction abruptly..vuka barabara..the main aim is to be unpredictable..

19.Don't talk to those old grandmothers on the streets. Even thieves grow old.

20.Leave your Christian virtues and fruits of the Holy spirit at your home doormat. Think like a con and treat everyone like a suspect, otherwise you'll get fixed.
Never ever buy a phone, watch, electronics from a random person or shop in these streets.

*Additionally, never ever buy SECOND HAND items, especially Phones & electronics regardless of how cheap they are.

Why? You'll wet your panty the moment detectives track and catch up with you and tell you " Mwili tulipata, lakini kichwa mlitupa wapi? Si mngeweka tu karibu na mwili. Mbona mlimuua, si mngechukua simu na pesa tu na muende?"

24/09/2023

Tested a lot more is coming .......

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PIPELINE
Nairobi
00200

Telephone

+254718707998

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