03/09/2025
Why Don't They Just Leave?
Many people who haven’t experienced abuse often question why someone doesn’t simply walk away from an abusive relationship. They don’t realize that the situation is often much more complex than it appears.
In fact, the most dangerous time for someone being abused is when they attempt to leave. This is because abuse revolves around power and control.
By leaving, the victim is taking away their abuser’s authority, which can lead the abuser to respond with extreme and harmful actions.
Beyond the immediate danger, there are various reasons that keep individuals in abusive relationships. Here are a few common ones:
Fear: A person may be terrified of what might happen if they choose to exit the relationship.
Belief That Abuse is Normal: Some individuals may not recognize what a healthy relationship looks like - perhaps they grew up in a setting where abuse was commonplace, leading them to not see their own relationship as unhealthy.
In discussing why abusers abuse, it is clear that a lot of the causal factors behind these behaviours are learned attitudes and feelings of entitlement and privilege - which can be extremely difficult to truly change.
Because of this, there is a very low percentage of abusers who truly do change their ways.
