Abase Computers Southport

09/01/2021

CALLER:
Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER:
My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER:
Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER:
What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER:
How the hell do you know that?
GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER:
I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER:
I paid in cash.
GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!
GOOGLE:
I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER:
Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...

30/06/2020

I think we all know this, but just in case ......

Criminals are taking advantage of the NHS Test and Trace service by sending phishing emails and texts containing links designed to obtain your banking passwords and PINs.

If you receive a suspicious text, email or phone call, make sure you .

Ensure you check the web address carefully and avoid clicking on links. Always type the official address directly into your browser followed by the unique characters given to you.

It’s important to remember that NHS Test and Trace will never ask you for financial details, PINs or passwords. They will also never visit your home.

You can forward scam emails to [email protected] and report suspicious texts to your mobile provider by forwarding the message to 7726. If a scam text claims to be from your bank, you should also report it to them.

22/04/2020

After 21 years of Saturday opening, we have taken the decision, as from 2nd May, to no longer open on Saturdays.
During the week, as we always have, we remain flexible as to our closing time!

15/04/2020

05/04/2020

Large parts of Devon and Cornwall have been particularly affected

27/03/2020

Well, it's been a quiet week here as you can imagine with many customers self-isolating. We are still on the end of the phone, and also helping emergency situations eg. no internet = no internet shopping = no food!
and we hope to see you fit and well soon

31/01/2020

PROBLEM WITH OUR PHONES
We are able to answer calls but in some instants nothing happens! Please bear with us whilst try and get this sorted

28/01/2020

This link takes you to see what Off-Facebook internet activity has been shared to Facebook ; so perhaps you have bought soap on-line from Boots, Boots may have shared this information with Facebook and they will target Boots adverts for soap in your News Feed.

24/12/2019

The Bah Humbug hat is a permanent festive decoration this year!

15/12/2019

.... and No, it's not rude! Any guesses??

18/11/2019

Your comment may seem harmless, but it's really not.

10/09/2019

Finally, we have a date for Adobe Flash being banished from the internet - 31 Dec 2020. Chrome & Mozilla already no longer use Flash, and Google will block Flash on 31.12.20 ; HTML 5 / 6 will take it's place but for the love of Zeus, DON'T download a free conversion tool, as hackers will jump on the band wagon and many will NOT BE SECURE