25/05/2026
BREAKING NEWS 🚨
Local man hospitalised after attempting to find a document in company shared drive.
Gary, 47, Operations Manager from Leeds, was discovered at 4:37pm on Thursday buried under three filing cabinets in what colleagues are calling “an avoidable incident.”
“He started calmly enough,” said witness Karen from Accounts. “Checked Google Drive. Checked his emails. Then he opened the shared drive and that’s when things escalated.”
Co-workers report Gary opened 14 folders, 7 sub-folders, and a folder simply named “zzz OLD DO NOT USE” which contained the most recent version of everything.
“He kept muttering ‘it’s definitely in here somewhere’ for about 20 minutes,” said Dave from Site. “Then he tried the Downloads folder and found 23 files called final_spec. That’s when he flipped the first cabinet.”
Paramedics arrived to find Gary surrounded by 400 printed pages, a broken mouse, and a monitor displaying “0 results found.”
Hospital staff confirmed Gary is in stable condition but remains emotionally distressed. “He keeps whispering ‘not that shared drive, the other shared drive’ in his sleep,” said a nurse.
A company spokesperson said they are reviewing their document management processes. They have also been shown a demonstration of Athena and described it as “where the hell was this six months ago.”
Gary’s family have asked for privacy during this difficult time.
No documents were harmed. One was eventually found by an intern.
askathena-ai.co.uk — because nobody should be hospitalised looking for a PDF.