06/19/2026
Freak flags I fly proudly...
Unpack my suitcase the moment I get home. Doesn't matter if it's 2am.
My home is always in a state of "I could host at any moment and not need to clean first."
The volume on the radio can never be on an odd number. Unless it's a 5. Because 5 gives even energy.
No overhead lighting. Ever. Accent lighting only. Non-negotiable.
I make my side of the bed even when my husband is still in it.
I always have a nail file and lip chap within arm's reach. No exceptions.
The sound the vacuum makes when it sucks something up is genuinely one of life's great pleasures.
I clean the entire house before leaving for vacation. In case a robber breaks in and judges me.
Recycling gets picked up on Friday mornings. I happy dance Thursday nights and announce it's recycling eve. Every single week.
I once gave our door code to a flower delivery girl I had never met because her voice sounded kind and I wasn’t home to accept them.
My husband does extreme sports. I don't bat an eye.
My sister and I have agreed we want to be cremated and have our remains sprinkled at the dump. Because we love the dump. Because things have been purged and organized.
My idea of heaven is getting all of life's mysteries solved. That lost hat. Finally explained. JonBenet Ramsey. Killer identified. Every he said she said argument. Receipts.
I severely judge what people order at a restaurant. Down to their character.
Flavoured coffee is a morning drink? No. Afternoon only. Black coffee is the only acceptable morning coffee. Flavoured coffee is coffee with training wheels.
True crime documentaries calm me.