28/09/2026
Employee of the Month: Max
In for one day and already outperforming the lot of us.
🐶 Role: Head of Morale
🚪 Key responsibilities: Door security, floor inspections, and making sure nobody starts a meeting without a pat first
⚡ Response time: Instant (treats help)
🔋 Uptime: Solid until mid-morning, then some planned downtime under the nearest desk
⭐ Performance review: 10/10. Every issue resolved on first contact, mostly by lying on it until it went away.
We're looking into a permanent contract.