05/25/2026
Memorial Day. Today I want to talk about Vietnam.
The wars we usually hear about on this day all deserve to be honored. Pearl Harbor. The Civil War. World War 1 and World War 2. Iraq and Afghanistan, Iran. Korea. Every war America has been in. Every man and woman who served and was lost in any of them earned the honor of being remembered today, and I do not want anything I say to take away from that.
But Vietnam is the one I rarely hear about. The one that seems to get skipped over to me at least. And the man who taught me what I know about service, work, family, and showing up, fought in it.
My dad was drafted into the Army. He fought in Vietnam. He has never wanted to talk about it. He has said that he saw and had to do things no one should ever have to see or do. He has softened a little over the years and told some stories in which our whole family is silent and hangs on every word. But for most of my life he carried the whole thing in silence.
For a lot of my younger life I was rebellious about all of this. I hated war. I hated how corrupt and greedy I thought our government was. I made noise about it, even though in reality I was ignorant of it all. This was ultimately disrespectful because I simply didn't understand.
I have since spent years since doing my own homework. Reading what I can find. Watching documentaries that try to tell the truth of what that war actually was. People disagree about which sources tell it straight and which ones don't, and I respect that, but the reading and watching has changed how I see it.
What I have come to understand is that Vietnam is a war nobody really wanted. Not the men who fought it. Not the country that sent them. And most certainly those here back home during the war that protested it.
Those who served and survived came home, while entirely too many came home in caskets.
Some of them got off the plane and were called baby killers. Some were spit on in airports while still in uniform. Most of them got nothing at all. No parade. No handshake. No one waiting at the gate. Just silence. After everything they had seen, everything they had to do to survive, everything they would carry for the rest of their lives, they came back to a country that acted like it could not be bothered to notice, or judged them without walking in their boots. Maybe this is why no one really talks about Vietnam as much because of how we treated those who served in a war no one really wanted, yet so many gave their lives for.
Dubby was talking a bit about the war with our family once. We would joke at times with him about it during the conversation. The kind of joking you do when something is too heavy to talk about straight. We asked him if he had to do it over again, what injury would he fake to get out of it. Or would we all be sitting in Canada right now.
He looked at us with the most serious face I have ever seen on him. Contradicted by the smallest smile. And he said:
I would not change a thing. Not one thing.
We sat there stunned. After a long pause he was asked why.
He said: because my country asked me to go. So I went. And I would go again right now if they asked me.
There are men and women who have said that for as long as this country has existed. There are men and women saying it today. There will be men and women saying it tomorrow. That is what makes them different. That is why the bar is set where it is set. And for me, personally, that bar is one I will never come close to reaching. This has always been why I know I could never possibly be the man my father and those who served are and will be.
But because of him, I will not stop trying to be the way those who serve are and will be. Even though that bar is too high for me one way I can and do honor my father is I will never stop trying even though I know I will ultimately fail.
I asked him once how I could honor him properly on Memorial Day. How could I possibly equal what he gave when all I do is grill burgers and put a flag up. He said:
Just say thank you.
So today to my Father, to all those who have served and will serve, thank you.