Green Caddie

Green Caddie Free green-reading app for NZ golf courses — see the slope and break before you putt.

08/08/2026

"Working from home." Home is a par 4.

Your status has said Available for four hours. You are, in fact, on the 14th.

Two taps in Green Caddie and you know which way it breaks — read it in three seconds instead of standing over it guessing, and you're back online by three. Nobody has to know.

Free, no download, no account: greencaddie.co.nz

Be honest — what's the longest your status has ever lied for? 👇

08/08/2026

Par 72. Thirty-six of those are putts.

That's not an opinion — par assumes two putts a hole, on every hole, all the way round. Half your round is played on the green, and it's the half almost nobody practises.

Every 3-putt you've ever had was a shot you gave away for free. Two taps in Green Caddie and you know which way it breaks before you're standing over it guessing.

Free, no download, no account: greencaddie.co.nz

Be honest — when did you last actually practise putting instead of just hitting balls on the range? 👇

07/08/2026

Your round, emotionally. The y-axis runs from ELITE down to QUITTING, which is about right.

Birdie on the 3rd. Pie at the turn. Total collapse on the 13th. Then you booked next Saturday on the 18th tee like nothing had happened.

For what it's worth, the 13th broke 3.3 cups and got played dead straight. That's the whole graph explained.

Free, no app, no account: greencaddie.co.nz

Which hole is your 13th? 👇

07/08/2026

The "?" is not a question.

"Leaving now" and "left now" are 45 minutes apart, and everybody involved knows it.

Here's the annoying part: a decent chunk of that was four blokes standing over putts. Read them in three seconds instead of three minutes and you could actually be home by one.

Free, no app, no account: greencaddie.co.nz

Be honest — how far off was your last "leaving now"? 👇

06/08/2026

You bought a new putter. Then another one. Then you watched a video about grip pressure. Then you bought a third.

The putter was never the problem. You didn't know which way it broke — that one on Pupuke's 17th was 3.3 cups left, and it got played dead straight.

A putter can't measure. Three of them still can't.

Free, no app, no account: greencaddie.co.nz

Honest answers only — how many putters are in the garage? 👇

06/08/2026

Your handicap is 14. Your real handicap is 19. Your handicap when there's twenty bucks on it is 22.

We can't help with that.

We can help with the other bit — the one where you stand over a two-metre putt and guess. That one on Pupuke Golf Club Pupuke's 17th broke 3.3 cups and got played dead straight.

Free, no app, no account: greencaddie.co.nz

Every group has one. Who's yours? 👇

06/08/2026

"Yeah nah, she's straight."

Same putt, same green, played two ways. One of them went in.

Pupuke's 17th, 2.6 metres, breaks right. Play it straight and you finish 360 mm right of the cup — 3.3 cup widths. Aim 3.3 cups left and the slope carries it back in.

Everything in that clip is drawn to true scale against a real 108 mm cup, so the miss is something you can measure rather than something we're claiming.

Free, no app, no account: greencaddie.co.nz

Be honest — how many have you played dead straight and watched slide by on the low side? 👇

05/08/2026

Plotted every golf course in New Zealand and accidentally drew the country.

231 courses. 3,764 greens. Every single one of them measured.

The sheep remain unmeasured.

Free, no app, no account: greencaddie.co.nz

How many of the 231 have you played? 👇

05/08/2026

Every group has one.

He's never been right, and he's never once been unsure.

"Straight as." The survey says 3.3 cups left. One of them actually measured it.

Every green on 231 NZ courses, surveyed and turned into a real read. Free, no app, no account: greencaddie.co.nz

Tag him. You know who he is 👇

05/08/2026

Three of these are rituals. One of them is a measurement.

🧐 Squatting and squinting
🤷 Asking your mate
✈️ Lasers. From a plane.

We did the third one — 3,764 greens across all 231 New Zealand golf courses, surveyed from the air and turned into an actual read in cup widths.

Free, no app, no account: greencaddie.co.nz

Which one are you? 👇

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Auckland

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