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21/04/2015

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26/01/2015

You were born in a first class Hospital...
I was born @ home... But we are all
living. U woke up from bed... I woke up
on a mat, on the floor... We all had a
goodsleep. U drank champagne... I
drank pure water... We both quench our
thirst... U ate fried rice... I swallowedbig
Eba... We all satisfy ourhunger... U
dressedin an imported suit... I dressed
in bend down select, okirika... We all
cover our nudity... You drive luxury
jeep... I wave at kekenapep... We all
arrive at our destination... You are
readingthis from your laptop, iphone or
BlackBerry... I wrote my post using
ASHA... We are all readingthe post...
Why should I kill myself? Why should I
blame GOD, Life is a lesson, thoughit
gave me 1000 reasons to cry but GOD
Knows i will never cry/ because GOD is
always with me.... Just say thank you
GOD and move on..

01/08/2014

PLEASE JUDGE THIS MATTER.....
I was in a taxi chatting with my friend on whatsapp and suddenly discovered that the man sitting beside me was reading my conversation.Since I did not want to embarrass the man,i decided to change the topic of the chat;Abeg oga, please tell Kabiru Sokoto or Abu Qaqa that I only took two of the bombs we just manufactured for this operation. Let them know as well that I may find it difficult to get to the target place before the bombs explode because there is terrible traffic jam now but nevertheless, I am sure casualty figure will be high since we are five in our taxi and all the vehicles in the traffic will be affected too.We have less than 3 minutes for the bomb to go off bye- bye and take care of my parents and siblings asagreed.
The Man,without allowing the taxi to stop quickly opened the taxi door and jumped out and eventually died, pls who killed him?
Pls I need an honest answer.
Happy new month

11/02/2014

Imagine!!! He deleted me on his bb. Can‘t reach him on
phone, he even packed out of his house & remove me from
his fbk list. Just bcos i gave him a list of a few tins i want 4
valentine..
1. Woman hair 150k
2. Gucci bag 95k
3. Lv wallet 60k
4. Dnk wrist wtch 70k
5. Parada shoe 140k(even d devil wears PARADA)
6. Aldo sandals 50k
7. Samsung galaxy & iphone 250k.. And a brand new car.
Just to xpress his love ooooo... No be him mate dey buy
am for my friends? Pls my dear frnds, did i ask for
much?????

29/01/2014

Abeg no laugh o...

Cos Blackberry don chop my money tire, na him I come vex last week sell am, come take some money buy China phone!

Now am in bigger trouble!!!

1. E go full after 3 minutes of charging.
2. The phone get TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter, Firelighter etc.
3. I fit write Text message with a toothpick sef.
4. The spelling get mistakes e.g NokLa, blackderry, i-porn, samswag etc.
5. When aeroplane pass e go record "One missed Call".
6. When a big truck horn; e go show "Charger connected"
7. When Chinese man pass e go show: "One Bluetooth device found"
8. When fine person waka pass, e go show "Ur favourite food found"
9. When ugly person waka pass, e go show, "Virus detected"

Abeg I wan sell am!
Who wan buy ooo???

And Even as I dey find buyer, e dey show me
for screen: "No contact found.....

29/01/2014

Boko_haram members entered a church in
Maiduguri and ordered the ushers to close every
window and doors as well. They told the
congregation they were going to kill everyone but
in alphabetical order.
They approached the Pastor and asked; what is your name?
Pastor said: Zechariah Zwingina. They approached
the Pianist; what is ur name?
He said: Zemmanuel Zwilliams. The Pianist out of fear
pointed at the Deacon and said his name is Abraham
Amodu. :p Deacon shouted and said; oga no mind him o, is a
liar, my name is Zabraham Zamodulahi... Wetin go con happen?"

13/12/2013

A*o Ebi for my Grandpa MANDELA burial is 10k per 6 yards, if you are interested kindly pay into this acct no- 0116439793,
GTBank. Yusuf Olamilekan Mandela, Thanx. A gbeyin arugbo wa ooo:D ;)

16/09/2013

A psychiatrist was conducting a group
therapy session with four young
mothers and their small children.. ."You
all have obsessions ,"he observed. To
the first mother, Mary, he said,"You are
obsessed with eating. You've even
named your daughter Candy."He turned
to the second Mom, Ann:"Your
obsession is with money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child's name,
Penny."He turns to the third Mom,
Joyce:"Your obsession is alcohol. This
too manifests itself in your child's
name, Brandy."At this point, the fourth
mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little
boy by the hand and whispers."Come
on, Joystick, we' re leaving!"

11/09/2013

WHO ARE THE REAL ROBBERS HERE=>

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in
the bank: “Don’t move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.” Everyone in the bank laid down quietly.
This is called “Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.
When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: “Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!”
This is called “Being Professional”
Focus only on what you are trained to
do!
When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): “Big brother, let’s
count how much we got.” The older robber rebutted and said: “You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell
us how much we robbed from the bank!”
This is called “Experience.”
Nowadays, experience is more important
than paper qualifications!
After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police
quickly. But the supervisor said to him: “Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.
This is called “Swim with the tide.”
Converting an unfavourable situation to your advantage!
The supervisor says: “It will be good if there is a robbery every month.”
This is called “Killing Boredom.”
Personal Happiness is more important than your job.
The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: “We risked our lives and only took $20 million.
The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!”
This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold!”
The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.
This is called “Seizing the opportunity.”
Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?

06/09/2013

PATIENCE JONATHAN'S TOP 15 QUEEN's
ENGLISH
QUOTES,......cr ack ya By
ribs!
1. My husband and Sambo is a
good people.
(Imagine)
2. The President was once a child and the
Senators
were once a children.
(Fu***ng c**t)
3. My fellow widows.
(Is her husband dead?)
4. A good mother takes care of his children.
(His children? Like Seriously?)
5. The people sitting before you
were once a children.
(Smh)
6. Yes we are all happy for the
effort, it is not easy to carry second in an
International
competition like this one,
(addressing press men after Female Under-
19 FIFA
World Cup).
(Fu***ng piece of s**t)
7. The bombers who born them?
Wasn't it not a woman? They
were once a children now a adult now they
are
bombing women and children making some
children a widow.
(Is she a literate?)
8. My heart feels sorry for these
children who have become widows for
loosing
their
parents for one reason or another.
(Lmfao....)
9. We should have love for our fellow
Nigerians
irrespective of their NATIONALITY
(Lwkmd)
10. Thank God the Doctors and Nurses are
responding to
treatment.
(Doctors and nurses?)
11. I would rather kill myself instead of
committing su***de.
(What's the difference?)
12. Ojukwu is a great man, he
died but his manhood lives on.
(Manhood?)
13. On behalf of 2million, I donate my
family.
(Laugh wan tear my belle o)
14. Why will bokharam bomblast
churches on Christmas day, they
don't have respect for Jesus, they are a very
bad
person,
infact I'm a sadder woman right now and
Mr.
President is
more saddest
(Sad,sadder,sad dest...)
15. We all have HIV.
It's either positive or negative
(You guys have it too? Coz I don't)=D =))

Choose your favourite, I have been laughing my butt out here

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Ikeja
23401

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+2348066707165

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