11/07/2021
How to win without defeating others?
Is it even possible to draw a win in situations that almost bog us down completely, that too without defeating the other person?
I guess I won without defeating a gentleman, a couple of days ago.
After buying some veggies, carrying them in a shoppers’ bag, I wanted to hang the bag on the hook meant for it on my vintage Royal Enfield Diesel Bullet; I was rather annoyed to see a Honda Scooter parked in a such a way that there was not even 50% of space needed for anyone to retrieve the Bull, from the left side. On the right side, there was water-logging, due to rain.
It was easy for me to approach a gentleman, to confirm whether that Honda scooter belonged to him as there was no other customer in that Veggies Supermarket. He asserted. I politely asked him to move his scooter saying there was no room for me to retrieve my Bull out from the left side. He insisted that he had given the needed space. I did not get irritated. I said to him “Is it? Could you please get my vehicle out without moving your scooter?”
He nodded as though it was quite easy. He approached my Bull from the right side, after failing to get it out of center-stand from the left side. He never seemed to accept that he was wrong in his estimation. He, later, was struggling to get my Bull out of the center-stand from the right side. I buttressed my Bull. He was neither accepting that he was at fault nor letting the Bull’s weight shower him the prudence that I was correct originally. He was on a spree to take control of my mood and behavior. I never wanted to give him that control. He said that under such situations one should start the engine and move the vehicle out. He asked for my Bull’s key to start it. I told him, he could not start. He persisted. So, I gave him the Key, which was not needed. After painfully kicking it for several times, he looked miserable. Miserable to have realized that he parked his scooter without space on the left side, and that he himself could not even push the Bull. I retrieved my Bull within the next few moments, gave it one gentle kick and thumped out form there, without any sign of triumph over him; but before moving out I politely thanked him.
I kept my voice low but argument hard during this whole episode, knowing that few individuals in personal life and professional life would test our level of civilization. We do not have to become mad; nor do we need to be sad because of such individuals. All we will have to do is to get through them. We can win over them without necessarily making them lose; by simply cutting them loose from our focus, and never giving that energy / attention that they crave for.
Can you share if you have won without defeating your adversaries?
