08/05/2026
Last night, we drilled holes in our kitchen cabinet to save an endangered species.
Not the sentence I expected to write this week.
Here’s what happened…
I spotted a slow worm in the kitchen, its head seemingly wedged between the leg of the cabinet and the half-tiles underneath. It looked dead.
But when I touched it gently, it was still floppy.
So, naturally, we did what any slightly panicked, animal-loving household would do…
Everything possible.
We tried a car jack to lift the cabinet.
It wouldn’t go low enough.
We scavenged for blocks of wood and a hammer to gently raise it.
The cabinet started to crack.
Then suddenly…the slow worm disappeared under the kitchen units.
It was alive!
Brilliant news, except now we had a slow worm under the cabinets, no visible escape route, and three cats who had immediately appointed themselves Head of Slow Worm Surveillance.
So out came the drill.
We drilled two 2cm holes in the side of the cabinet to create an emergency exit.
Then I spent the next hour on slow worm guard, keeping the cats away while listening to the mysterious rustling beneath the units.
Eventually, a tail appeared...not from the carefully drilled escape holes, obviously....from a tiny 3mm gap between the tiles and the cabinet, because why use the purpose-built exit when you can reverse dramatically out of an impossible crack?
It disappeared again.
An hour later, one of the cats became very interested in a cabinet further down the kitchen.
And there it was.
A little head poking out between two cabinets. Ten minutes later, the slow worm finally emerged, and I managed to scoop it up and relocate it safely to the compost heap.
So now we have holes in our kitchen cabinet.
Or, depending on how you look at it, a future-proofed slow worm escape route.
With all the best intentions and planning in the world, things rarely go exactly as expected. Sometimes you need quick thinking to adapt and sometimes you need to try three different approaches.
Sometimes you need to drill a hole in the cabinet.
Digital marketing is no different.
Campaigns change. Audiences behave unexpectedly. Tracking breaks. Landing pages don’t convert the way we thought they would.
And when that happens, you don’t need someone who shrugs and says, “Well, that was the plan.” You need someone who will look again, think differently, and go the extra mile.
Preferably without power tools.
But I make no promises.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you’re looking for a digital partner who’ll adapt, problem-solve, and go the extra mile for your business, apparently that's me.
Whether it’s paid ads, strategy, lead generation, or smarter automation - I’m here to help.